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SCO Plans... er... SCO Hopes for a Future
Friday, October 24 2008 @ 09:37 PM EDT

Well, this is perfect. SCO's plans for the future surfaced at TecForum 2008 in a presentation they've put on their website, so we can all have a laugh together. Here's the plan. It's all so vague, maybe it'd be more accurate to call it SCO's hopes. They -- yes, they, since Stephen Norris appears on page 39, under the header: Opportunity -- spin off the company's assets, leaving SCO Group the Litigator as an empty shell, or nearly empty, to pursue the litigation. With Darl at the helm, maybe, if I recall their most recent word on that subject. That way, if they lose all the lawsuits -- how could *that* ever happen? -- the titular winners of the litigation, IBM, for example, will be unable to get any assets at all from SCO.

Sounds fair to them. They get to sue you for everything you own if they win, but you get nada if you win. Tails SCO wins, heads you lose.

In case, like me, you'd prefer not to visit SCO's website, here's the page from the slideshow that reveals their sooper diabolical dream, p. 42:

Do you love it? What is not to love about this plan? It will stand forever, I'd argue, should the bankruptcy court approve it, as proof positive that you don't have to be honest as the day is long or the least bit fair to make out like a bandit in business.

Oh. Wall Street just proved that already? Well. Repetition for emphasis, class.

As you see, it says Unix assets and rights, employees, all partner and customer contracts and relationships, channel partners and customers, all "UNIX products", and Me Inc. and any mobile products, and "all infrastructure" goes flying away from the litigation entity to "New Company". Page 10 shows SCO's headquarters, and it calls it "SCO Operations", so that's evidently the new company. It doesn't say all Unix assets and rights or all employees will transfer, so they'll leave some unknown assets, rights, and employees. SCO Group, bereft of everything but that and a dream that will not die keeps the litigation going with little or no risk to SCO's erstwhile assets. Like a patent troll, but with no patents. There will be "New Investment" in both entities, at least they have arrows to both, but I notice no confirmation of any specific source. They must still be on their camels in the Middle East looking for some. It's an opportunity. With an emphasis on the oh oh. Do I hear wings flapping? The header says, "Proposed Opportunity".

I'd love to see what these guys would come up with for somebody's divorce settlement. Let's see. To be comparable it would have to go something like this: The husband gets the house, and the vacation home in the Hamptons, with the pool and the cars and all the joint bank accounts and the wife's jewelry and furs and all the credit cards. And he pays no child support or any money to the wife. She gets to raise the kids all by herself. And pay off the credit cards. And a bike. What? You don't think that's fair? What are you? Some kind of bleeding heart or something?

If you don't mind going to SCO's website, or wish to view the whole presentation, here it is:

I don't know what makes me smile most from the presentation, the egregious use of a photo of Eric Schmidt of Google on page 32 (bet they didn't ask) or the promise that the future for SCO's OpenServer includes 2.0 as of November 11. Linux has had that for some time. Ubuntu has 2.4, last I looked, and they'll go to 3.0 in the next six months or less. You can download 3.0 beta2, in case you don't get why SCO makes me smile. Even the stable versions for production use are past 2.0. Even the Vietnamese version is 2.1. Mandriva uses 2.4.1 in the 2008 distribution. Red Hat has been at 2.3 for a year at least.

In short, SCO is updating its stuff with FOSS, but it's behind the folks that wrote the software, which is hilarious in that anyone can use the software. So why wouldn't they choose the latest? The endless mysteries of SCO Group.

Oh, one last detail. Guess who is listed as a sponsor? Intel.

Yup. Look on page 5. I puzzled over that for a while. I think I have it figured out. The Intel board probably figured the FOSS community didn't hate them enough yet for undermining OLPC.

This should do it, though. Touchdown. Way to go, guys. Way to go.

To be fair, it's SCO making the claim. For all we know, it's not even true. Remember the HP "sponsorship" years ago?

SCO singles out for special recognition SCO Unix consultants iXorg. They reciprocate by listing SCO as a partner. You remember them, I trust, from the flap in 2004? SCO also recognizes The Kingsway Group.

And SCO also mentions ATK. I'm not sure if they mean the motorcycle company (who can forget Darl on the motorcycle in 2002 selling the bottled water concept?) or Alliant Techsystems or the aerospace and defense company. Maybe SCO executives wish to book a flight To Teh Moon? Or they could book Darl on the SpaceShuttle, like Mark Shuttleworth as a tourist on the Soyuz spaceship. That'd be a blast. Think of the PR. Think of the possibilities.

Just don't, please, run your nuclear power plants on SCO stuff, will 'ya?

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