December 25, 2005
The SCO Group, owners of the Unix operating system and
system that vaguely resembles Unix, announced today
that it has filed
suit against S. Claus Industries headquartered at the
North Pole for
violation of its intellectual property.
was an early
licensee of Unix and ran his entire operation on Unix
representative Blake Stowell said. "About 10 years
ago, he stopped
sending royalty checks, and we discovered that he had
migrated to Linux".
SCO concluded that he had stolen numerous features of
incorporated them into his business. Mr. Stowell noted
elves" are merely an obfuscated copy of the Unix
"daemons". In addition, he asserted that previously
Mr. Claus had
only used a single big reindeer, but was now using
eight tiny reindeer
instead, an idea that he clearly stole from the SysV
Mr. Claus denied the allegation. "The truth is
that I was having
a couple of beers with my buddy, Donald Becker, and
when he learned
that there were hundreds of tiny reindeer available,
he suggested I
build a Beowulf cluster out of them".
admitted that he had
migrated his back office operations from SCO
Openserver to Linux.
"You just can't keep track of whether 6 billion people
naughty or nice on an antiquated 32 bit operating
system" he said.
Mr. Stowell countered, "We don't have any business
or any other kind of patents either for that matter,
but if we did,
Claus would clearly be in violation of them".
In addition to stealing features of Unix to run his
business, SCO also
alleges that Claus violated his Unix contract by
leaking methods and
concepts of Unix to Professor Andrew Tanenbaum and
Linus Torvalds who
subsequently used them in their own operating systems.
"All we are
saying is look at the map." Stowell said. "All of
were located really far north, and it doesn't take an
MIT rocket scientist
to figure out what must have happened."
"This will really rock the Christmas gift industry,"
DiDio said. "Given the cloud hanging over Claus, I'm
people give Microsoft products, and only Microsoft
products, as gifts
Analyst Rob Enderle stated that he wasn't surprised. "The fact is
that I could always count on Bill Gates to throw
buckets of money at
me, and Claus never gave me anything."
SCO President Darl McBride defended the lawsuit while
that it would be unpopular. "Look, we aren't all
sitting around the
fireplace singing Christmas carols. This is a
business," he said. "We
don't want Claus to change his business. We just think
we should get a
cut of every package he delivers."