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To read comments to this article, go here
Just So You Know Judges Are Human Beings Too
Friday, November 26 2004 @ 05:30 AM EST

For those of you who want Judge Kimball to get disgusted with SCO's machinations and make them stop filing what we perceive as delaying motions for this and for that, take heart. I came across a ruling [PDF] by a judge in another case, involving trademark infringement, and I thought it was so funny I wanted to share it with you, just so you will see that judges do have limits to their patience.

The judge in the case, Sam Sparks, writes that he wants to scream to the lawyers in that case, "Get a Life." He also told them that if they didn't shape up, he would enter an order that the parties get new lawyers.

Of course, this all happened in Texas, which, as you know, has a history of straight-shooting cowboys. But, hey. You never know. It could catch on elsewhere.

*****************************

IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE WESTERN DISTRICT OF TEXAS
AUSTIN DIVISION

_____________________

KLEIN-BECKER, LLC, and BASIC RESEARCH, LLC,

Plaintiffs,

-vs-

WILLIAM STANLEY and BODYWORX.COM,

Defendants.

Case No. A-03-CA-871-SS

_____________________

ORDER

BE IT REMEMBERED on the 21st day of July 2004 and the Court took time to make its daily review of the above-captioned case, and thereafter, enters the following:

When the undersigned accepted the appointment from the President of the United States of the position now held, he was ready to face the daily practice of law in federal courts with presumably competent lawyers. No one warned the undersigned that in many instances his responsibility would be the same as a person who supervised kindergarten. Frankly, the undersigned would guess the lawyers in this case did not attend kindergarten as they never learned how to get along well with others. Notwithstanding the history of filings and antagonistic motions full of personal insults and requiring multiple discovery hearings, earning the disgust of this Court, the lawyers continue ad infinitum. On July 20, 2004, the Court's schedule was interrupted by an emergency motion so the parties' deposition, which began on July 20, would and could proceed until 6:30 in the evening. No intelligent discussion of the issue was accomplished prior to the filing and service of the motion, even though the lawyers were in the same room. Over a telephone conference, the lawyers, of course, had inconsistent statements as to the support of their positions. On July 20, 2004, the Court entered an order allowing the plaintiffs/counter-defendants until July 23, 2004 (two days from today) to answer a counterclaim. Yet, on July 21, 2004, Bodyworx.com, Inc.'s lawyers filed a motion for reconsideration of that Court order arguing the pleadings should have been filed by July 19, 2004.

The Court simply wants to scream to these lawyers, "Get a life" or "Do you have any other cases?" or "When is the last time you registered for anger management classes?"

Neither the world's problems nor this case will be determined by an answer to a counterclaim which is four days late, even with the approval of the presiding judge.

If the lawyers in this case do not change, immediately, their manner of practice and start conducting themselves as competent to practice in the federal court, the Court will contemplate and may enter an order requiring the parties to obtain new counsel.

In the event it is not clear from the above discussion, the Motion for Reconsideration is DENIED.

SIGNED this 21st day of July 2004.

_____[signature of Sam Sparks]___
UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE


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