I know some of you have wondered what you will do for fun once the SCOShow is over. For nostalgic types who would like something to remember SCO by, a Canadian seller has put up for sale an "unused" SCO T-Shirt on EBay. He describes it as: "Famous SCO attacks Linux T-Shirt, as seen at SCOFORUM 2003, and given out during the SCO City-To-City tour."
I'm not sure "famous" is quite the word. Infamous? Shameful? Outrageous? Trade-Libelous? It's hard to find just the right word. It's open for bids, although so far there haven't been any, but it's only been up a little more than a day.
On the back here is what it says:
GOT UNIX IN YOUR LINUX?
FACT: SCO OWNS THE LEGAL COPYRIGHT TO UNIX SYSTEM V
FACT: SCO OWNS ALL CLAIMS ARISING OUT OF VIOLATIONS BY UNIX LICENCEES
FACT: SCO HAS PROOF OF DIRECT COPYING OF SYSTEM V INTO LINUX
I SAW IT FOR MYSELF AT SCOFORUM 2003
On the front it just has the SCO logo and the words "SCO Builds Your Business". I think that might be hard to prove in a court of law. It's "USA Made components assembled in Mexico," whatever that means. The seller describes it as the"perfect gift for the rabid SCO Fan, or something to annoy and confound the rabid Linux Fan."
I wasn't aware there were any "rabid SCO fans". I didn't think there were any SCO fans, period, outside of Wall Street hustlers, maybe, and they aren't famous for longterm loyalty. You'd think one of these rabid fans would send me an email here and there, wouldn't you? But I have never received even one. We don't get any pro-SCO trolls either. Not that I'm complaining. And that's not a cue, SCO, to start astroturfing about how great SCO is. We can tell, you know, brainiacs that we are, so you'd just be throwing good money after bad, and you don't have too much left, what with all the lawsuits. We saw how you had to mortgage your company.
We remember, too, how you told the Red Hat judge how expensive it is to fight on two fronts at once, when you asked her to delay Red Hat until after IBM, or consolidate the two for economy's sake. We did note that after you told her that, you announced you plan on opening a third front by suing for copyright "violations", so I guess that means you don't need to consolidate the two cases in Utah or postpone Red Hat after all. But in any case, economy is the word.
I know. Maybe Microsoft types would buy the shirt to annoy Linux fans. Confounding a Linux fan is probably an unreachable goal. For one thing, you'd need to be smarter than they are. Certainly this T-shirt isn't enough to do it. But I can imagine Steve Ballmer leaping about on stage in the shirt. Hmm. Too direct, maybe?
Wait. I've got it. There's a marketing category the T-shirt seller forgot to pitch to: the IBM and Red Hat legal teams. I don't think they'd want to wear it, probably. Those IBMers are a little conservative in their dress but maybe they might like to show it to the judge. You think?
Still, the T-shirt is nothing compared to the signs that showed up at the June protest at SCO headquarters, signs the protesters say came from inside the SCO building and that SCO employees carried, trying to mingle in with the Linux protesters, pretending they were part of the protest. Those signs said things like "I love software piracy" and "Give Communism a try." The account of what happened is here, for those of you who are new to Groklaw. So we'd have to agree that the SCOForum T-Shirt is less trade-libelous than those signs.
My all-time favorite T-Shirt was worn by a Linux protester that June day. You can see a picture of it in the story linked to about the protest, but here is what it said:
It's the difference
If anybody knows where to find that T-Shirt, please let me know. I'd like to buy one. Funny, isn't it, how nothing SCO does shows that kind of wit and charm? Maybe that's why there is a distinct shortage of rabid SCO fans. There could be a few other reasons, too.